


Howl

by armins_booty



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Come Inflation, Forced Orgasm, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Rape Aftermath, Rape/Non-con Elements, Size Kink, Titan Eren Yeager, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-16
Updated: 2015-01-04
Packaged: 2018-02-09 04:37:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1969353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/armins_booty/pseuds/armins_booty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three years after the titans have been all wiped out, everything is peaceful.</p>
<p>So no one expected it, really, when Eren transformed into this beast that seemed like a half-titan half-human disgrace. All they want to do is live life without worrying about being eaten alive, but all Eren wants is Armin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ahahahhaha.
> 
> I posted this on FF a while back and I found it and was all 'hey why not make this my first fic on ao3???' then while i was editing it i realized how fucking dark this is like damn. hahah enjoy this short lil shit.
> 
> (everyone is like 24 years old in this)

No one expected it.

Everything had been peaceful, quiet. The norm.

Eren's squad was on an expedition outside of the walls with two other squads. They had set up camp at an old, not-so-worn-down castle in the middle of a field. The mission was simple. Explore.

Eren had seemed a bit off. Armin couldn't exactly place it, but he just wasn't... Eren.

The days before Eren had seemed rather possessive and clingy towards his childhood friend. Eren never left his side, and always glared at people who even tried to talk to Armin. He was bickering with people more often than usual. And it wasn't silly fights over who could shove more carrots into their mouth, or who got the top bunk; it was extreme stuff.

 _My Armin._ That's what Armin had heard Eren murmuring to himself in the middle of the night.

 _My Armin_.

Everyone else had noticed too. Mikasa always seemed to be watching the two men. The newer, younger recruits seemed nervous around them. Jean, when Eren was sleeping, asked if everything was alright between the two. Armin replied by telling Jean that Eren was probably worried about the expedition, since it was the first since the eradication of the titans.

When Armin woke up side-by-side by the already awake Eren, he was slightly frightened. Eren was sitting cross legged, but his head was hanging and his shoulders hunched, his dark, long hair creating a veil to shield his face. Armin didn't think much of it, maybe some early morning stomach ache. He rolled over and basked in the joy of being able to sleep in.

Eren hadn't said anything when they had been walking through the halls of the castle. It was odd as the trio, Eren, Mikasa, and himself, were in a state of pure silence. Eren would normally be making conversation, but, no, not today. It was silent. Armin, again, brushed it off as Eren not feeling too hot.

It was around midday, and Eren's squad was in the courtyard that connected to the vast woodlands surrounding them. Sasha and Connie were showing the new troops some tricks they had picked up over the years that probably had nothing to do with the mission at all. Jean was wrestling with a big and bulky yet so calm and gentle trainee. Armin believed his name was Cillian. Eren was sitting off to the side, toying with something small in his hands. This was the first time in the past few days Eren had willingly left Armin's side.

It was peaceful, and Armin loved it. Armin had been sitting in the shade of a tree, a book in his lap. It had been so long since he had been able to sit like this.

Loud yelling knocked the blonde out of his fantasy world. He peered over the edge of his book, staring at the group of soldiers. Eren had approached Jean and they were arguing about something. It looked serious. The trainees were starting to cower back.

Armin decided to interfere. He sat up, putting his book on a patch of green grass. He walked over to the group.

"Sasha," Armin addressed the closest person to him. "What happened here?"

"I don't know!" She panicked. "Eren just came over and started to yell at Jean."

Armin heard his own name thrown into the angry barrage of curses.

Armin walked past Sasha and up to Eren. He put his hand on the other mans shoulder, causing him to jump with a start. Eren whipped his head around to face Armin, then back to Jean, then back to Armin.

No one expected it.

Eren growled- he actually growled, like a wild animal- and his body began to shift. All Armin could do was watch as Eren screamed and wailed and nearly pulled his hair out of his scalp. There was a sound, the sickening sound of bones breaking. Eren's body began to change. He was growing bigger and less human and more like...

A titan.

Armin stumbled backwards slightly, staring up at Eren. He must've been at least 7 feet or taller.

This hadn't happened in three years! Ever since they found out how to stop the titans, Eren hadn't transformed into a titan at all.

Eren growled again and his hand shot out, grasping Armin by his neck and raising him off his feet. Armin kicked and struggled, big, blue eyes growing wider in fright. He couldn't think. He didn't know how to handle this!

"Eren, what the fuck is going on?" Jean shouted and tried to pull down Eren's arm. "Sasha, Connie, fuck- Someone go get Hanji!" One of the recruits stumbled off to get their commander.

Connie and Sasha started to help pry Armin away from Eren, who had his attention turned only to Jean. They had managed to force Eren's large fingers to unwrap around Armins neck and he fell to the ground, gasping and rubbing his sore neck. Eren noticed how empty his hand felt and whipped his head around. He growled and swung his arm at Connie and Sasha. Connie dodged in time, but Sasha got struck. She stumbled back and fell onto her tailbone. Connie was immediately at her side.

"Jean, Armin, what do we do?!" Connie cried out, helping Sasha to her feet.

"Fuck- Fuck, I don't know!" Jean grunted. He was at Eren's side before he could attack the small blonde boy again, holding onto his arms and mustering up all the strength he saved for the past three years.

"Armin- Armin-" Eren snarled, his green eyes not straying away from the blonde boy in front of him.

"What is he saying? I can't hold on much longer!" Jean tried to tighten his grip on Eren. Eren let out an ear-piercing scream, brutally forcing Jean back and launching himself at Armin. "Run!" Jean commanded.

Armin didn't want to- he couldn't! This was his best friend. He couldn't run from his best friend. He had to help him through this. But Armin could see it. The way Eren's eyes glowed golden, filled with a desire to _hurt_. His attempts would be futile. It was just like when Eren first turned titan. He was out of control.

So, he ran.

He ran out of the courtyard, ran from the castle, ran from his friends. He ran from the titan chasing him. Thankfully, Eren was slow and clumsy in this form, while Armin was still small, fast, and agile. Armin managed to get into the cover of the trees, but he didn't stop there, running through the dark brush. He tripped and stumbled over twigs and rocks and roots, not being able to pay attention at a time like this. Armin didn't even notice he wasn't wearing any shoes. In his blurred state of fear, it was hard for him to know exactly where he was going and how his body was moving. It was better than not being able to move at all, locked in the arms of a titanized Eren. Who knows what would happen then? Something large crashed through the forest behind him and it continued to grow closer and closer. Armin took a sharp turn, zigzagging around rows of thick trees, hoping that would confuse Eren. Nothing was working. Armin couldn't stop running, though. He wouldn't give up at a time like this! Humanity won, and Armin was going to see it flourish.

The ground under his feet grew soft and gave way and the next thing he knew, Armin was falling head over heels down a small slope. His hands automatically went over his face, covering himself from any serious injuries. He landed with a thump and a grotesque crack at the bottom of the ravine. He sat still on the ground for a moment, staring up at the beautiful blue sky. The clouds were puffy and pure, innocent white and the sun was a great yellow ball. It was like looking up at a picture. The roar of a titan ruined the moment.

Armin turned his head, seeing his best friend atop the cliff in his half-human-half-titan form. Armin was quick to roll onto his stomach and try to stand up, only to whimper and slink down to the soft soil. He had definitely broken his leg. He rose, slowly and carefully, and limped away on one foot. A hand around his neck stopped him. How did Eren get down there so fast? He didn't have any time to wonder as he was lowered to the wet ground, surprisingly softly. Armin's body was pressed painfully into the ground by the second large hand on the middle of his back.

This couldn't be happening. He was going to be eaten alive by his best friend.

But, eaten he was not.

He was flipped over to lay on his back, once again the movements belonging to a gentle touch. The touch instantly disappeared as Eren pressed his large knee against Armin's broken leg and his balled fists pressed into his stomach until another crack was heard. There was a joyful glint in Eren's green eyes.

Armin screamed, in pain, fear, and sadness. He hadn't realized that he had been crying until he began to really sob.

How could Eren be doing this? No, this wasn't Eren. Armin had to reach the _real_ Eren.

"Eren, p-please, stop!" Armin begged. "Stop, stop, stop! this isn't you, stop!"

The pleas only urged Eren on further, and he seemed happy. It was sickening.

Eren leaned forward, his long hair tickling Armin's cheek, and moved his hands from the broken ribs to the collar of his shirt. In one swift movement Armin's shirt was torn in two, the buttons popping off and fabric ripping. Eren tossed the garment to the side and stared down at Armin's bruised stomach. Eren leaned forward and pressed his teeth to Armin's neck. Armin's breath caught in his throat. Eren's long tongue lolled out of his mouth and tentatively licked the flesh, his teeth gently gnawing like a baby teething. He moved over to his shoulder, his mouth large enough to fit the whole joint in his mouth. He dug his dull teeth into Armin's flesh, happily listening to the shrill scream that came from his prey. Eren made a sound like a chuckle. He made sure not to bite his shoulder off. Instead, he wiggled his tongue under the flesh. Armin had tears freely streaming down his cheeks, his mouth hung open in a silent scream. Spit was trailing down the sides of his mouth, but that was his smallest concern. His back arched and his hands gripped onto Eren's large biceps and attempted to push him away.

"Stop." His hoarse voice leaked out of his sobbing. Eren was far past being coherent.

Armin should just give up.

A solider never gave up. So he kept at his futile attempt at struggling.

It only amused Eren more.

Eren lowered, his mouth ghosting over Armins chest and his teeth sinking in every few inches. Each time his tongue would slither into the wound, earning a hoarse screech from Armin.

When he was met with the waistband of Armin's trousers he ripped them off along with his boxers, staring with gleaming eyes at his naked prey. He avoided the limp appendage and went for his thighs, loving the feeling of the tender, unscarred flesh between his teeth. He couldn't help himself. He ripped some off of Armin, his body shaking in joy when he received one of the loudest screams.

To Armin's horror, this was exciting Eren. In both ways. He could feel the large erection straining against his leg.

Eren turned him on his belly again. Dirt and stones got into his wounds. Eren let go of him for a moment to free his length of it's cage, and, in that small moment, Armin scampered away.

He hardly made any distance, only to the rocks that led out of the small ravine Armin had fallen into. Eren grabbed him by his good ankle and snapped it in a direction it shouldn't have been able to go. Bone was almost breaking through the skin. Armin could hardly scream loud enough to display the amounts of pain he was feeling. Eren crawled over to sit on Armin's back and grab a handful of his beautiful, silky hair. Large (yaoi) hands ran through the blonde locks. He forced his head up, almost ripping out his scalp as he did so, and smashed his head onto the rocks. He did it twice, with enough control so Armin wouldn't be that seriously damaged. He didn't want to break his little toy so early. 

Armin was hardly conscious and still sobbing.

He finally gave up. 

There was no use. 

His nose was broken, for sure, and blood was oozing down his face, and Eren's hard penis was pressed against his back.

"Eren," He sobbed. "Please, don't." Once again he was brought to low begging.

Eren wasn't listening. 

Eren was gone.

Eren was trailing bites down Armin's back again, stopping only at his bottom to instead shove his entire, huge length inside. Armin screamed and hollered and tried to drag himself away, his nails digging and clawing into the dirt so hard he was tearing skin and nail. 

Armin's hole had to be torn. Warm liquids were dripping down his thighs, though he wasn't so sure where it was all coming from. He was covered in bite marks and bruises.

His chest felt tight, but it wasn't from any physical wound. It was the thought that this  was his best friend- his first friend- Eren Jeager- doing this to him.

Maybe if he didn't move or make a sound it would end quicker. Maybe Eren would think he was dead and leave him. Leave him to die.

But, no, even as he laid still Eren dug his nails into bite marks on Armin's hips, making him yelp and whine and prove that he wasn't dead. So Eren liked when he made noises. 

He let himself go, crying and whimpering and clawing at the ground. Maybe when Eren was finished he would leave? Maybe... 

Armin couldn't think straight. He was tired. 

"I love you..." 

Armin heard a gruff voice say before he slipped into unconsciousness.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't really think so many people would want me to make another one of these... But, yeah. Here you go, you dirty sluts.  
> Just kidding I'm so sorry omg please don't hate me

Something was wrong. Armin could tell that without opening his eyes. The sounds of nature engulfed him like a heavy, warm blanket that was suffocating him. In the good kind of way. The peaceful way. He could hear the wind, feel it brush his damp fringe against his face, he could feel it against his bare skin. There was a lone bird calling out, probably begging the sun to lead it back to its flock. It was lonely, as was Armin. Armin wanted to call out to the bird, to reassure it that it wasn't the only one who felt the crushing feeling of loneliness. Armin, for a brief moment, wondered if he had fallen asleep outside again. He didn't feel ticklish grass under his skin. In fact, he couldn't feel the ground at all. He was leaning against a living furnace. He could tell it was living thanks to the heavy breaths in his ear. That was the first clue to Armin that something was wrong.

The second clue came when Armin's head rolled around on his shoulders till it dropped forward, letting him stare down at his body and just wonder why it was  _bare_. Why was his body decorated with blood, cuts, and bruises, like some grotesque abstract painting? Why couldn't he feel the pain he knew should be burning his entire body? His stomach was bulging and it frightened Armin. 

Something moved behind him and he could feel and see how his stomach bulge grew larger. There were odd, sticky liquids dripping down his thighs and legs. Armin mustered up all the strength he had to glance over his shoulder, to see what was doing all of this.

Ah, yes. It all came back to Armin so suddenly. With it came the pain and the tears. 

"E-Eren..." He choked out. 

No.

_It_ wasn't Eren. He refused to call  _It_ by his best friends name. 

"S-Stop!" Armin shrieked loudly, trying to wiggle from It's grasp. It only held onto Armin's sides tighter, blunt nails digging into bruised flesh. Armin made a choked noise and his body fell limp and keeled over. 

Everything hurt. His cuts stung and his bruises ached. Armin had never felt pain like this before. The worst of all was the total betrayal he felt weighing down his heart.

A large, calloused hand reached around Armin's body and grabbed his limp cock.

"N-No... please..." Armin wailed softly, getting too weak to cry out any longer. He felt that he was going to fall unconscious at any second. He would much rather be unconscious, so he wouldn't have to feel anything anymore. 

He would much rather be dead.

It began to pump Armin's cock, surprisingly gently. It licked a stripe up the back of his neck, latching on and sucking him like It was expecting something to come out. 

Armin's body betrayed him, his dick slowly growing erect. He didn't understand why. He was in so much pain, both physical and mental, and yet he got hard.

It's large hand entirely engulfed Armin's length. It pumped him, slow and gentle and then hard and fast. All the while It was moving inside of Armin, but Armin's anus had long gone numb. 

Armin didn't know how long it took for him to reach orgasm. He had totally lost track of time. Seconds, minutes, and hours were all just a blur in his mind. The sun was starting to dip into the horizon, tinting everything a beautiful fire-like gold. He must have been there for a while. He remembered early morning dew glistening on green grass when he was running from the gruesome creature.

Even after he came, the monster didn't stop pumping Armin's cock. It went limp in It's hands, but It didn't stop. Armin's penis started to sting, causing him to start squirming again.

"N-No... No more... Please..." He whined, his voice sounding scratchy and raw- not like Armin at all. His voice sounded helpless. 

It didn't stop. It forced Armin's cock to become hard again, and repeated exactly what it did before. Armin came quickly this time, but it burned throughout his entire length. Armin didn't know what he was expecting, so after he was milked of his second orgasm and It didn't stop, Armin wasn't that surprised.

But that didn't mean he would let it happen so easily.

"S-Stop!" Armin said pathetically quiet.

He had enough.

Armin was a solider! Had faced countless titans before. This one was no different! Except, it was. It was Eren.

Armin rapidly shook his head, forcing that thought out of his mind. He took a deep breath, and screamed.

"Stop! Stop!" He shrieked loudly, louder than he had all day. That frightened the titan, causing it to jump and halt It's actions for a split second. It continued when It realized it was only Armin.

"Get off!" Armin hollered, weakly kicking his legs up and back. All that did was shoot pain throughout his legs and hips. Armin stopped flailing, but he never stopped screaming. "H-Help me! Please, help! E-Eren, stop it... I k-know your in there, Eren... P-Please...!"Armin was sobbing again. He felt so weak. He was so weak he couldn't escape a titan. He was so weak he was being raped and tortured by a titan. He was so weak he was screaming for help.

The titan had enough of Armin's useless screaming. It finally gave up Armin's cock, after the fourth orgasm, and brought It's hand up to Armin's mouth. It covered almost the entire of Armin's face. It suck two large, dirty fingers into Armin's mouth and down his throat. Armin gagged around the fingers and almost threw up, but the fingers kept everything down. He couldn't breathe past the fingers, and there was another finger pressed under his nose so that air couldn't pass through. Armin brought his hands up to the large wrist and clawed at the dark, rough skin. He was growing desperate for air, his face turning a pretty red colour. 

It was all so sudden. Something knocked into the titan, which sent Armin falling towards the ground. Before Armin reach the ground, something caught him. Armin tilted his head upwards to see a stupid earthy toned undercut past the sudden blur of his vision.

Armin didn't notice the ringing in his ears until it started to fade, voices coming in through the high pitched wail.

"...Min.... Ar...Min... Armin!" 

It was a struggle to keep his eyes open. His eyelids were as heavy as lead. Now that his body was given a break from the blinding pain, the pain only amplified. Every part of him grew super sensitive to touch, everything that was touching the man holding him up burned. Everywhere else felt ice cold. Armin could hear other sounds- yelling, a titan's yowling which faded off into a human screaming, and lots of scuffling. He was too weak to feed his curiosity and find out what was happening.

The blur cleared, and he saw none other than Jean Kirschtein.

A smile graced Armin's lips and he let his body relax against Jean. Relaxing was hard when everything made you want to scream from the pain that wracked your body.

"J-Jean..." He murmured. "Kill me now... I want to die... I w-want... pe-peace..." Armin's eyelids grew too heavy for him to hold up anymore. 

"Armin! Armin, open your fucking eyes!" Jean screamed at him, but Armin was long gone.

* * *

 

He was laying in a field. Tall grass stretched towards the sky, and once it reached the sky it kept going and going, not stopping for anything. Armin wished he could be like grass. He wished he could reach the tallest heights and not have to stop for anyone. 

_But people cut grass. And people throw cow shit on grass._

People do that to make the grass grow pretty, because if they didn't then the grass would be wild and browning. Grass and people need boundaries, grass and people need help.

_You never want help._

That's different.

_How so?_

I'm not grass.

_But you just said you wanted to be like grass. Why are you even comparing yourself to grass?_

Armin opened his eyes and stared up at the dark blue- almost black- sky. The sky was swirling with different shades of dark blue, like when you mix wet paint, and white, glimmering dots made up the stars. The moon was no where in sight. The tall grass swayed in the slight breeze, gently tickling Armin's bare arms. The pale grass curled around the edge of Armin's vision, like a frame for the painting of a sky he was seeing above. The air smelt like burning wood and moss, with a hint of baked goods. Armin was laying on a bed of flattened grass, his arms behind his head and his legs crossed over one another.

Armin decided that he wanted to be free like the grass. He stood up and stared at the sky, his head tilted back at a rather uncomfortable angle. But he didn't feel uncomfortable. Everything about him was at peace.

Armin jumped up to the sky, his body stretching and reaching towards the murky waters above him. Wings sprouted from his back, one white and the other black. The wings of freedom. He was getting closer to his goal of the sky by each second. 

Further. 

He had to go further!

Something yanked on his leg, forcing him to stop in the air where he was. Armin tried to continue flying, but whatever had him by his leg wouldn't allow it. It tugged on his leg, and Armin shook his leg. 

He was going to get to the sky! He had to reach the sky. 

With a final pushed, he freed himself from whatever was holding him back. Not much later, it grabbed him again but with much more force. It engulfed his entire left leg, whatever it was felt goopy and sticky. Armin dared to glance down, but he regretted it immediately. 

Below him was a sea of titans, all of them looking at him with their jaws opened and unhinged like snakes. He could see down their gullets and count all of their bloody teeth. He could hear his screaming comrades down below. The titans pushed and shoved each other, trying to be the first to get to Armin. There was a growing sea of blood under the titans. The smallest of the titans were drowned by the red. 

Holding onto his leg was Eren. Eren was completely made up by a tar-like substance. The black fluid was thick and sticky. Eren was wearing a wicked smile, his brows knit together in an almost pained way. Wherever Eren touched on Armin, Armin turned to the tar-like substance as well. Eren started crawling up Armin's leg, further turning him into the same black substance.

Armin tried to scream, but it felt like he was underwater. He kicked and flailed, trying to get Eren off of him. Eren reached Armin's wings, grabbing the fluttering things and pulling them against Armin's back. They stuck there, unwillingly by the black goop. They both began to fall towards the clawing, open-mouthed titans, all of which were almost totally submerged by blood. 

Armin desperately reached for the still beautiful sky with his left arm, the right had been pinned by the black goop. His mouth hung open, making the shape of a silent scream.

* * *

 

Armin was shook awake, screaming and clutching to whatever was closest to  him, sobbing and crying and trembling.

"N-No!" He shrieked. When he realized that he wasn't falling down into a bloody sea of titans with the deformed figure of his best friend and rapist clinging to him, Armin pulled away from what he was holding onto. He couldn't focus his vision, so everything was blurred. All he saw in front of him was long, dark hair and he was sent reeling backwards. Eren. It was Eren. He found himself pressed against a corner, still facing the dark haired blurred figure. "No!" He screamed, throwing his arms over his head in a not very useful defensive mechanism. "G-Get away from me!" 

The door opposite of the bed slammed open, causing the small, blond man to jump out of his skin. 

"The fuck is going on here?!" Someone yelled at the dark haired man.

"I-I dunno, sir!" The Survey Corps trainee yelped as he stood up like he was caught stealing cookies from the holy cookie jar. "He was screamin' and cryin' so I woke him up and then he started screamin' and cryin' more!"

Levi looked between the nervous soldier and the cowering, crying Armin Arlert. "Fuck... I didn't expect him to wake up so soon..."

Levi strut forward till he was standing beside the bed. He crouched beside the bed and stared at Armin. "Armin." He said softly and reached out to grab Armin's hands to pull them from his face. Armin flinched, but slowly lowered his hands. His body was obviously tense. "Armin..." Levi repeated softly. 

Armin blinked his eyes repeatedly, his blurred vision finally turning back to normal. He stared at Levi, his body slowly relaxing. The other soldier was crouching next to Levi. It wasn't Eren. Armin was so relieved.

He was safe.

Now that Armin knew he was safe, he could focus on other things. Like the searing pain tearing his body apart. A choked sob escaped him and turned his head to the side, leaning over on the bed and throwing up the little contents in his stomach. Even when he was done, he was still dry heaving and sobbing. "I-It hurts!" He wailed. "It hurts so much..."

The solider reeled back, but Levi seemed unaffected. "Clean it up." He said to the soldier, pointing at the filthy blankets with his chin. Levi grabbed Armin and forced him to lay on the bed, holding him so close to his body Armin could feel his stubble against his cheek. 

Armin's hands fisted into Levi's stainless shirt and he sobbed on his shoulder, his body curling up and trembling from the excruciating pain. 

Levi forced his body to uncurl and watched as the soldier bunched up the blankets and carried them out. He turned his attention back to Armin and stared up and down at his body. Armin was only wearing shorts, which were only for decency. His abdomen was almost totally covered with bandages and gauze. The same went for his limbs. There were red splotches on some of the bandages.

"It would be best to change these." Levi said softly. To be honest, Armin's grip on him was surprisingly painful. He tried to stand up to go get Hanji, but he was held back by Armin's grip. He glanced back down at the wounded man. Armin had fallen unconscious, yet he was still trembling and holding onto Levi. Levi sighed and ran a strong hand through his hair, pinning it back for a moment before letting it fall over his face. He gently pried Armin's hand from his shirt and left the room, feeling guilty for leaving him all by himself.

When Levi was out of the room, he leaned against the door and cursed under his breath. He had no idea what was going on anymore.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> loud screaming YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW SORRY I AM!! ugh I feel like such trash.  
> I was working on the third chapter... Very slowly... And when I finished it and tried to upload it the web page wouldn't respond. Turns out my computer got a fucking virus. This chapter was done on my phone, which explains why it's pathetically short and took so long to upload and just fucking sucks. If it's too bad, I'm gonna take it off and fix it.  
> Once again, I'm super super pooper sorry!!

Nightmares plagued Armin's dreams. Even when he was conscious, the events that had happened haunted him. He hardly ever was conscious, though. Only to attend to basic human needs- food, drink, and the restroom. Whenever he awoke he was greeted with wave after wave of unbearable pain. It never seemed to stop. Levi was there, each day (or, every time Armin awoke) with a different trainee. Each seemed wearier than the last. Levi was always ready to help Armin in any way possible. Armin would never think Levi would be so willing to help someone go to the bathroom. Doing anything, even changing his position on the bed, was near impossible without Armin sobbing out in pain.

Levi had explained the injuries to Armin once while helping him drink through a straw. Armin had shattered a bone in one of his legs and totally snapped his ankle on the same leg. Several of his ribs were broken. His body was littered with bruises and bite marks, large chunks of flesh being torn off in some areas. He had a severe concussion, possibly a brain contusion. They couldn't say how long it would take for him to recover. Armin was thankful for Levi for leaving out the details about his lower body; details he knew wouldn't be good.

Armin hadn't seen anyone else besides Levi and select few trainees. He was getting rather lonely. Then again, he was asleep for most of the day, so he didn't know what happened then.

Hanji came in once while he was awake and looked over his wounds, her touch as gentle as mother's. Levi explained to her how Armin couldn't move on his own and was brought severe pain when someone had to move him. Hanji pulled Levi out of the room to talk to while the current soldier-in-training watched Armin drift off into an unconscious state once more.

Over the next few days, Armin started to talk again. His sore throat objected, and the pain in his chest grew stronger with each word he croaked out. Breathing became harder- but with time he got used to it.

Hanji came by every day to check on Armin. Eventually, others were allowed to visit. Naturally, Mikasa came first. She sat down on the wooden stool perched by the bed and stared at Armin, who stared right back. She held her rouge scarf up to cover her nose. After a slight staring contest, Mikasa's eyes began to water. She bent over the bed, her hands fisting the sheets on Armin's chest, and silently sobbed. Armin bore with the pain as he raised a hand to place atop her raven coloured locks, wordlessly calming the girl.

Next came Jean, who bombarded Armin with apologies. He apologized for not being able to stop Eren. He apologized for not realizing what was happening to Eren. He apologized for not being able to chase after Armin and Eren. He apologized for not being able to find them sooner. He apologized for everything. Armin managed to whisper, "Don't." That immediately silenced Jean, who couldn't face looking at Armin anymore and instead turned to stare out the window at the dull scenery.

When Sasha came, only brightness followed. She sat on the stool and began to laugh about things that have been happening with the trainees. All of her little stories brought a smile to Armin's face, as they always had, but this smile pained him.

During Connie's visit, he knew exactly what to say to make Armin feel better. Mixed in with his jokes and talk of crappy food, he gently reassured Armin that everyone was with him, and everyone would do anything to help with his recovery.

All of Armin's friends said things that warmed his heart. But, no one said what he really wanted to hear. No one talked about Eren.

 

It took a month and a half for Armin to be able to get out of bed by himself. He finally got to use the crutch that was crafted for him, which he had never used. Armin was overjoyed, staring at Levi with the happiest expression he could muster up. It was a pretty pathetic face. Levi appeared happy, too.

 _Probably because he won't have to deal with your shit, figuratively and literally._ Armin shook his head to rid himself of that nagging voice.

Armin had only walked to the restroom and back, but when he clambered back into his bed he was as tired as if he had just ran around the castle several times.

Over the past month and a half, signs of Armin's head trauma became visible. Armin stuttered out most words and had trouble with his vocabulary. His memory was effected as well. Levi had to explain to him numerous times what had happened, each time having to watch Armin's whole demeanour deflate, each time watching Armin struggle to hold back tears. Armin always ended up sobbing and screaming out his frustrations.

Armin forgot who Mikasa was at some point. The black haired girl had to explain, all the while choking down her own emotions.

Hanji assisted Armin with his words every day. Big words were too complicated for him, so she spoke like she was talking to a child. Every day they worked on different things. One day, they worked on Armin's stutter. The next, his struggling memory. Hanji had tried to get Armin to write down what he remembered, but writing gave Armin a headache.

Levi and Hanji were talking about taking this to the new capital, Yylende. Ever since the titans had become extinct and the walls destroyed, things took a drastic change for the better. The impure government was brought to a halt, being replaced by something beneficial to all. The capital of this New World was created near the ocean, harbouring a consensus government. Little villages and cities were scattered around Yylende; none ventured that far, not knowing what the New World had in store. The knowledge of titans was growing, along with the number of people interested in the sciences involving titans. On the outskirts of Yylende, but far enough away to be a days journey by horse, was a research facilitation for the sole purpose of titans. To quench the natural desire of curiosity, several titans were kept alive in this facility. This place was no secret to the public. Many people volunteered to be used as test subjects. Levi and Hanji wanted to bring Armin and Eren to this facility near the capital, hoping they could figure out what went wrong.

At last, they decided that when Armin was well enough to ride a horse with the assistance of someone else, they would head off to Yylende.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't read the manga, at all, so I'm just running on spoilers from tumblr.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I worked on this very quickly <3 cuz I love you all and I have no self restraint. But eh I'm just excited and full of ideas so here you goooo... Probably never gonna upload this quickly again. This chapter is longer than the last, but still short and shitty ;'( ugh I hate this please send me another computer  
> EDIT: *LOUD SCREAMING* holy shit holy shit... I'm so sorry wow omg I really should've wrote this earlier but we might've gotten rid of the virus but my computer is still fucked up??? Something about a proxy server? So I can't use any search engines!! I'm doing this on my phone to tell you I'm so sorry ;-; hopefully I'll get a new laptop for Christmas, if not I'll work on this on my phone. Geehh I'm really super duper sorry.

They stuck him in the god damn cell again. His arms were painfully twisted behind his back, his shoulders forced to bend in an awkward way. The metal chains that left his arms immobile clanged loudly whenever he such as trembled. Eren was scared. It reminded him back when he first found out he was a Titan, and they locked him in a cellar until the court knew what to do with him. This time didn't seem much different. Except, it was. Last time, Eren hadn't raped and humiliated and tortured his best friend and childhood crush. Last time, Eren was disgusted by himself and never wanted to turn into a Titan again. Now Eren was getting strong urges to _hurt,_ to _devour_ none other than Armin Arlert. He wanted to see Armin squirming and crying underneath him. He wanted to see red blood flow from previously unmarred flesh. He wanted to claim Armin as his own plaything. Whenever those thoughts and images crossed Eren's mind, he felt sick to his stomach. Some evil, disgusting part of him loved it. He felt as if his conscious was being torn in two, stuck between good and bad, right and wrong.

Someone came by every day to give him food and water. It was either Levi or Hanji. Eren always begged them to tell him what was happening and how Armin was doing. They never answered, leaving him shaking with fury and sobbing from the terror that overwhelmed him. Eren's eyes were almost constantly red and puffy and his cheeks remained splotchy and tear stained. He felt, and looked, pitiful.

Eren distracted himself by counting. He counted the number of stones that made up the walls, ceiling, and floor. He counted the number of days that went by since he was locked up here. One month, three weeks, five days. If he didn't count, he would think. If he started to think, he would think about what he done. He would think about hurting Armin again. So, he counted.

"One-thirty-one... One-thirty-two... One-thirty-three..." Eren stared at the ceiling, his tired expression showing how utterly bored he was. This was the fourth time he had counted the ceiling stones that day. "One-thirty-eight..." His eyelids started to droop, but Eren snapped his head back. He couldn't sleep, for if he did he would loose track of time. He has a schedule to stick to.

The sound of footsteps resonating in the hallway outside of his cell caused Eren to sit up straight and wait with anticipation. Levi came into view, holding a ring full of keys that opened all sorts of doors. He opened the door and stepped inside, looking back to wait for the other body.

Mikasa stared at Eren, her hair hiding her face from her brother.

"Mikasa!" Eren said hopefully, pulling against the chain restraints that held him back. "Mikasa..."

Mikasa finally raised her head. Her eyes were teary, and her brows knit together, her lips pulled in a thin line.

"Mikasa, I'm so s-" Eren started, but was interrupted by Mikasa raising a hand.

"Please, don't." She said softly. "Eren, he's suffering." Eren's expression fell. That was the first thing he had heard of Armin. "He always wakes up screaming and crying, either because of nightmares or he doesn't know where he is or who we are. We have to explain to him, numerous times, about what happened. It hurts so bad, Eren. He can't walk properly when he has the strength to walk at all. He still has holes in his flesh that constantly cause him pain." Mikasa took a deep, staggering breath. "He seems so sad. Whenever he talks to us, he pretends to be happy. He even told me that eating has become a chore."

Levi butt in, "And it's all your fault."

"No!" Eren snapped. "N-No... It wasn't! I don't know what happened... I lost control of my body, but not my mind! Please," He begged. "Please believe me... I don't know what happened... It's like the Titan inside me took control."

Levi and Mikasa shared a sideways glance. Levi approached the bed, and Eren stared at him, watching each and every movement. Levi grabbed a key from the ring and unlocked the chains holding Eren back. He could move around now, but his hands were still handcuffed together.

"Come on, get up." Levi walked back to the cell door.

"W-Where?" Eren stuttered.

"To see Armin."

Eren jumped up and scampered after his elder and sister.

It felt odd walking around the castle again. It was very bright compared to his damp cell in the basement. So much so it made his eyes hurt. Trainees were going about their business, totally ignoring Eren.

"They don't know anything." Levi said, as if he could read their mind. "We told them Armin fell down a cliff. Only a select few know the truth."

They continued the walk in silence. The trio stopped in front of a room that was secluded from the rest of the castle. It was quiet and homey here. It was nice. Levi pushed open the door, and Eren wanted to cry.

In the middle of the room stood Armin. He was leaning on a crutch, wearing a concentrated yet pained face. Beside him was a female trainee that was only slightly taller than him, her arms held out ever so slightly in case he fell. Armin raised his head to stare at the people at the door.

"Hello." He said softly, face lighting up slightly. He glanced behind Levi towards Eren.

"Um..." He seemed nervous. "W-Who is he?" Armin asked it so quietly it was hard to hear, but Eren heard.

And it broke his heart.

Levi walked into the room and Mikasa followed, so Eren thought it would be best to go in after.

"He's a soldier." Levi explained. "An old friend of yours. He's very concern- worried about you."

"Oh." Armin's face turned red and he looked down sheepishly. "S-Sorry."

"Armin, it's time for a check-up. Can he stay?" Levi patted the female trainee on the shoulder and she walked out, waving at Armin before she left.

"Okay." Armin stared at Eren. Whenever Eren looked back at Armin, Armin averted his gaze.

"His name is Eren." Mikasa said.

"Oh." Armin's cheeks turned a light pink. "Hello, Eren."

Eren thought Armin was acting different. Before, Armin wouldn't be afraid to ask for someone's name. 

Armin limped over to the bed and put his crutch down, leaning against the wall. He sat on the side of the bed and cringed.

"My back is sore today." He told Levi.

"Nothing out of the usual though, correct?" Levi sat on a stool next to the bed.

"Uh..." Armin thought for a second.

"It's a normal type of sore?" Levi repeated his question.

"Yes." Armin entwined his fingers together.

Eren wondered why Levi was talking to him as if he were a child.

"Then it will go away. Take off your shirt."

Armin gasped softly and turned his head towards Mikasa and Eren, his ears red.

"You know Mikasa has seen this before. You don't have to be shy with Eren." Levi smiled. Levi actually smiled for Armin. It was also weird to Eren. Everything about this was weird.

"Nn..." Armin looked everywhere except for Levi. "It's embarrassing..."

"Would you rather miss your check-up and feel more pain?" Levi asked with a tilt of his head.

Armin reluctantly sighed and pulled off his big white shirt. Eren held back a gasp. Mikasa was right. Armin did have big bitten holes in his flesh. Some were scabbed over, some had bandages on them. There was a bandage tightly wound around his chest. He still had some bruises left, but they were faded. The most prominent ones were the ones on his hips, which were an ugly brown and yellowish colour. On his stomach and back he had jagged scars.

Levi moved towards Armin. "Breathe in deeply."

Armin complied, but he cringed and breathed out. "'Hurts..." He mumbled softly.

Levi put his hands on Armin's chest. Eren bristled, feeling an overwhelming feeling of jealousy. All Levi did was feel around Armin's ribs, pressing down in certain spots that made Armin cringe.

"Well, they're getting better." Levi said as he moved back. "You don't cry in pain anymore, so that's a good sign."

"What? What happened?" Eren asked Mikasa quietly.

"He had three broken ribs and one was sprained." She responded without looking towards him.

Eren slowly looked away, the suffocating feeling in his lungs growing stronger.

"Stand up, please." Levi said as he stood and took a few steps back. Slowly and cautiously, Armin stood. All of his weight was on the leg that was, thankfully, perfectly fine. His other leg that was heavily bandaged hardly touched the ground.

Armin turned so his back was to Levi. Levi put one of his hands on Armin's shoulder, the other on the small of his back. He moved his hand up and down his back, stopping right at his tailbone. When the hand was on his tailbone, Armin squirmed away.

"It hurts!" He whined.

"Still?" Levi shot a glare towards Eren, and Eren jerked back. "We're going to have to do your least favourite check-up."

Armin's face paled, then turned bright red. "W-What? B-But, Levi!" Armin jerked his head towards Eren and Mikasa.

Levi handed Armin his crutch. "We'll go into the bathroom."

Levi slowly walked, Armin in hand, to the bathroom, leaving Eren and Mikasa alone.

"Do you see?" Mikasa murmured softly. "It's been almost two months, and his wounds haven't healed. It will take a long time for him to mentally heal. I don't think his mind will ever be the same again."

Eren cringed and brought his hands up to his face, covering his pitiful expression. "I'm sorry..." He sobbed quietly, tears starting to drip from his eyes. "It wasn't my fault... I-It took control of me..."

Before Eren could say anymore, Mikasa interrupted him again. "You're going back to Yylende."

"What? Why? Why me?" Eren lowered his hands and stared at her.

"Armin, Levi, Hanji, and you are going. The research facilities will help us get through this." Mikasa turned towards Eren. "You and Armin will get better."

She was holding back tears, Eren could tell. She pulled Eren into a sudden hug. Eren was surprised for a moment, but he hugged back as best as he could with handcuffs on.

 

Levi and Armin came out a little while later. Mikasa and Eren were sitting on the bed, and when the two others came out they stood up. Armin was totally red face and he staggered to the bed.

"So?" Mikasa asked.

"I'm not a doctor." Levi sighed. "But from what I can see, it doesn't look good. When we go back to the capital, someone who is a professional in this area will look at him."

Armin had laid down on the bed, the blankets pulled up past his face.

"We will leave you alone now, Armin. Someone will be in here later with food, okay?" Levi stood beside the bed. He didn't move until Armin squeaked out a small 'Okay!'

With that note, Levi brought Mikasa and Eren out of the room.

"Can I see everyone else?" Eren asked as they started to walk back.

"Fine." Levi changed his course of direction and brought the two soldiers to the courtyard.

Sasha and Connie were fencing with sticks with two young trainees while Jean watched and shouted at them. When Eren's three 'friends' spotted him, they stopped. Jean was the first to approach Eren, and when he did he came up with flying fists. He tackled Eren to the ground and punched him square in the face.

"You bastard!" He screamed and raised his fist to pound him again, but he stopped when he saw that Eren wasn't fighting back. He was just laying there. Pathetic.

Jean lowered his fist, his expression pained. "Why...? Why did you do it?"

By now, Sasha and Connie had shooed off the trainees and were standing on either side of Eren. Eren sat up and Jean moved back, a leg on either side of Eren.

"It wasn't me-" Eren started.

"Bull!" Jean snapped.

"Let me finish!" Eren snapped right back. "It wasn't me, I swear... It's like, I lost control of my body but I could still see through my eyes, and I could still think. I tried to stop but I just couldn't. It sounded like there was another person in my head, too. The Titan inside me... It was the Titan inside me that did all of it..."

Jean stood up. "Like we're supposed to believe that!"

Connie helped Eren up and glared at Jean. "I believe it! Remember six years ago when Eren turned into a Titan to move that giant boulder? And he attacked Mikasa? That wasn't Eren, but the Titan!"

Everyone was silent, as if they were just remembering the incident.

"Yeah, well, even if it wasn't him, how can we know it won't happen again?" Jean asked no one in particular.

"You don't." Eren answered. "That's why I don't want to be alone with Armin. I don't want to be alone with anyone! I don't... I don't want to hurt anyone anymore."

Jean sighed heavily and clapped Eren on the shoulder. "You bitch. You better get things set straight when you go to Yylende. I don't want to have to attack you again."

Eren grinned and pushed Jean with his hip. "Fine, horse-face."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holla holla  
> Redemption for Eren


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhoyl shit. it's been like 5 years yes hello hi. My computer is still shit, but lucky for me I got a new laptop hell yeah.  
> i'm so sorry please don't hate me for being so late with this ;^; i'm gonna start working on other chapters in advance so I actually have them ready on time....  
> hopefully I can continue with the perks of online dating soon, but thats still on hiatus.  
> tbh i'm probably gonna rewrite all of the previous chapters....  
> Warning there are some original characters in this chapter! They just work in the laboratories.  
> EDIT: hi hello yes I was wondering... would you guys prefer me to write shorter chapters and quicker updates or longer chapters and slower updates?

Hanji was screaming.

They were supposed to be going to Yylende peacefully. Levi promised it would be peaceful! There would be eyes on Eren at all times in case something happened.

Eren.

The previous day, as soon as the three people had left his room, Armin instantly remembered what had happened. He screamed and cried, and when Levi returned Armin let out all of his pent up frustrations on the man who had been nothing but kind to him so far. He had sworn on his life that nothing would happen to Armin ever again.

Levi was a big fat liar.

Armin was watching it with his own eyes. They were about half a days travel to Yylende, Armin and Levi at the front of the pack, when it happened. They had stopped for a short break, Levi going back to check on the others while Armin stayed suited where he was. Then Hanji was screaming. Armin turned in time to see her ripped limb from limb, her innards dangling out of her sliced stomach. Her lopped head had the expression of someone who knew what they were getting into. It was pitiful.

There was more screaming- Levi trying to command people as they either ran or tried to hold down the beast.

Eren.

Armin couldn't move. Nor could he breathe.

Eren easily whacked off the people holding him down. Jean went flying forward, and Eren followed him. He brought his foot down, crushing Jean's head like a grape.

Armin was going to be sick. His hands were trembling.

Eren was staring right at him. He was large, too large for his ripping clothes. His skin looked calloused and dark, and his damned grin was becoming distorted. He was in his titan form of seven feet.

Mikasa was at Armin's side almost instantly. "Come on, we have to go!"

She hollered, but Armin couldn't hear her. He had locked eyes with Eren. "Levi! We need to go!" Levi ran towards them, but Eren was faster. Eren grabbed Levi by his shoulders, holding him up like he was nothing. Eren stared down at Levi, then to Armin, then back down to the writhing body in his grip. Eren frowned as much as he could. He grabbed Levi with both hands; one on his upper body, the other on his legs. Armin finally snapped out of it.

"Eren, no!" He screeched at the top of his lungs, reaching out as much as he could. With a terrible rip, Eren snapped Levi in half. Armin lowered his hand, gasping and choking for breath. He couldn't sob. He couldn't breathe.

Mikasa. She was strong. She could jump onto the horse and kick it into motion, not even looking back at the bloodbath behind them. But no horse was fast enough to outrun Eren. He was able to catch up easily, and once he did he slammed into the horse, the two riding it knocked off by the force.

Armin's head slammed against the ground, and he was forced unconscious. Only a few moments later, his baby blues cracked open. Mikasa was laying across from him, her eyes opened wide.

"M-Mikasa...?" Armin stuttered out. "What's wron-" Armin sat up, and he wished he stayed on the ground. He wished he died right there.

The rest of Mikasa's body was missing. A crunching sound caught Armin's attention, and he frightfully turned his head. Eren was eating Mikasa. Armin screamed.

* * *

 

Someone jostled Armin awake.

"Nonononono!" He wailed, clinging onto the person that shook him from the horrid nightmare. "He's eating her!"

"No, no one is eating her, whoever she is." The calming voice made Armin jerk. He raised his head, staring into Levi's dark eyes.

"L-Levi..." He whimpered, clinging onto the warm body. "Levi... you were dead... r-ripped in half..."

"I'm not dead. Nothing is going to kill me. If I die, it's going to be because of damn old age. I made it this far." Levi wrapped his arms around the trembling Armin, his hands stroking his hair soothingly.

"W-Where are we...?" Armin asked, though he did not dare move from Levi's embrace.

"We're almost at Yylende." Levi was staring out into the distance, out of the wagon the two were situated in. 

Armin lay in a horse-drawn wagon, because gods knew that he wouldn't be able to ride a horse properly for a while. Behind them, in another wagon, was Hanji and Eren. Armin didn't want to see Eren at all. After the last surprise visit, once Armin finally remembered who Eren was, he was devastated. It took a lot of convincing for him to finally agree to go to Yylende. They were now only a few hours away. 

"We have some free time once we get to the city before we have to go to the labs. Is there anything you want to do?" Levi asked Armin softly, going back to the front of the wagon to man the reigns of the horse.

"Um..." Armin started. "I kind of want to go to the... the place..." Armin lowered his head, pinching his cheek as if that would help him remember the word he was looking for. "The shopping place... And there are some people I want to see." 

"The market?" Levi offered softly, understanding that Armin still had vocabulary and memory issues. 

"Yeah, that." Armin responded, leaning back against the side of the wagon. He missed Mikasa. He missed Jean. He missed Sasha and Connie and all of the other trainees that he had taken under his wing. He didn't know when he would see them next, but it felt like it wouldn't be soon. Before they had departed, Mikasa had brought Armin into her arms and held him there for a good long moment, almost cooing to him. To Armin, it seemed like she was preparing for that to be their last meeting.  

"Armin." Levi spoke up, knowing what happened to the young adult when he got too preoccupied with his thoughts. "Come here."

Armin slowly crawled to the front of the wagon, pulling himself up next to Levi on the bench at the front. Levi pointed off to the distance, on the outskirts of the woodlands they were passing by. Standing there, all beauty and grace, was a doe, her fawn leaning against her comfort. The doe had her white tail erect, a signal to warn any other deer nearby. She was staring at Armin and Levi, her head cocked slightly to the side. After a moment, she lowered her tail and her head, nuzzling her nose against the ground to search for edibles in the soil. Blotchy rays of sun made it through the canopy of leaves above, making the scene look angelic.

"Wow..." Armin murmured. Of course, he had seen deer in his life before. But back then he was streaking through the forest on his maneuvering gear, for he had a mission to do, and he didn't know how long he had left to live. Now Armin had all the time in the world to enjoy the beautiful world.

They passed by the doe and her fawn, and Armin leaned against Levi.

"Beautiful..." He said. Levi hummed in agreement.

As they left the shielding woodlands, the city of Yylende came into view. 

Levi handed Armin the reigns, and the blond took them without arguing. Levi went to the back of the wagon and called to Hanji, who was manning the other wagon, "You and Eren go to the labs. Me and Armin are going into the city."

Hanji made sure Levi knew she wasn't fond of this, how she wanted to go into the city too, but she grudgingly lead her wagon off into another direction.

"So," Levi said as he returned to Armin. "Where to first?"

Armin lead Levi to a small, quaint looking cottage not that far from the woods.

"Are we visiting Little Red Riding Hood?" Levi retorted as he followed the slight boy to the front door. Armin had brought his crutch with him, and the way he wobbled along was rather endearing to Levi. He had to help him up the stairs, but whatever. Armin knocked on the mahogany door and almost instantly it opened and Armin was greeted by a giant, nervous man.

"A-Armin!" Bertholt gasped, a little over dramatically. Instantly, Bertholt brought Armin into a bone-crushing hug.

"Ow..." Armin hissed and tried to wiggle from Bertholt. The giant let him go.

"Come in, both of you, come in and take a seat! I'll go get Reiner, he'll be overjoyed." Bertholt scurried off, so Armin and Levi entered the cottage. Armin sat on a pillowed wooden bench, while Levi leaned against the said bench.

In less than a minute, Bertholt returned with Reiner.

"Armin! Wow, am I glad to see you!" Reiner said with a hearty laugh, pulling Armin into another bone-crushing hug.

Bertholt sat beside Armin, and the two delved into deep conversation, totally ignoring the two others in the room.

"What's wrong with Armin?" Reiner asked, having noticed the bandages Armin was sporting and, of course, the crutch.

"Eren turned into a gross miniature titan attacked him." Levi said bluntly. Reiner looked taken aback. "We're taking both of them to the Titan laboratories."

"Wait- Eren is going to be with him? That's not a good idea at all!" Reiner said softly, as to not interrupt the other conversing males. "What if he attacks Armin again? Eren cannot be trusted." 

Levi shook his head. "Eren is showing obvious remorse. You can see it in his eyes- he didn't want that to happen. We're thinking the titan might have overtaken his mind, so that's why he is here with us, so we can figure out why the fuck that happened. Armin and Eren will be separated, don't worry. You and Bertholt volunteer there all the time, right? So you'll be there to make sure Eren's in line, too. Don't shit yourself over this."

Reiner huffed, and they fell into silence as Bertholt and Armin spoke. 

By the time Levi finally forced himself to interrupt, the sun was starting to fall over the horizon. Bertholt and Armin parted with a choking hug, this one Armin was able to return it.

"We'll see you at the lab, okay?" Bert said softly, leaning back to stare down at his friend.

"Yeah..." Armin smiled, finding himself feeling the happiest he had in a while.

* * *

Eren didn't like the laboratories. The lab grounds didn't look like lab grounds at all! Instead of being cloudy and rainy and gloomy, it was bright and cheery. The garden was professionally maintained, trees and bushes and flowers sprouting out of the ground in all different colours, sizes, and shapes. It was breathtaking, and Eren hated it. He hated the way it reminded him of Armin. Armin would love this place... But, because Eren was here, Armin wouldn't be able to fully enjoy what the large garden had to offer.

All of the buildings had a renaissance appeal to them on the outside, though the insides looked too futuristic! Everything was a blinding white- even the marble floor hurt Eren's eyes! There were windows placed every few steps, letting the natural light in. Hanji entered a room, the door looking like a slab of iron, and Eren followed after.

This room had a stark contrast to the hallways. The colours were earthy and calm, almost everything made of wood. There was a rug made from fluffy brown bear hide in the center of the room. Books lined the walls on either side of Eren, and parallel to the door was a giant window that took up the whole of the wall. Near the large window was a wooden desk, made to match everything else in the room. There were two chairs in front of the desk.

Seated at the desk was a lady, her frizzy brown hair chopped in layers to reach her shoulders. Her face looked tired, but her eyes seemed joyful. 

"Eren, Hanji, glad you're finally here!" The lady proclaimed, motioning for the two to sit down.

"Hazel, how have you been? It's been foreeever!" Hanji propped her feet up on the desk, obviously knowing this stranger.

"It's only been a few months, you goon!" Hazel whacked Hanji's feet, then turned to face Eren. "We're not here to talk. We're here for Eren. Hanji, you can leave."

Hanji straightened her back. "No way! I'm watching over Eren!"

Hazel shot Hanji a look, and the other brunette stood and shuffled out of the room. "I'll  be waiting!" She called before the door closed.

"Alright, Eren, let's get down to  business." 

Eren swore he heard the woman mutter 'to defeat the huns' under her breath.

Hazel continued, "I need you to tell me  _everything_. No, I lied, don't tell me everything. Tell me what happened the day of the attack." Hazel leaned back in her chair, waiting for Eren to start.

"W-Well, er..." Eren really didn't want to tell this weirdo about what happened. Who knows what she had up her sleeve? But... Hanji and Levi seemed sure that these people would help him and Armin. He was willing to do whatever it takes to figure out what the fuck was wrong with him so he wouldn't hurt his precious Armin anymore. So he spoke.

"I was with Jean, and we were practicing with some trainees... Then he got on my nerves, like he always does  _on purpose,_ may I add. Anyways, he got on my nerves so I was going to punch him or something, and the trainees got scared and started causing a ruckus so Armin came over. And... when I saw him I was just overwhelmed with this urge to... to..." Eren made exasperated motions with his hands. "I don't know! I just got this really strong animalistic urge... to destroy! Everything else after that is just darkness, but I could still feel things. It felt like there was someone else in my body, trying to take over my mind. It felt crazy, and I wanted to hurt something so badly! It felt good... I felt powerful, in control. But I wasn't in control, you know? Something else was! Something not me, like a fucking animal... or... or a titan!" At that point, Eren was trembling. He was almost in tears. He didn't know what else to say. "And even now lately I'm getting these urges. I'm scared that I'm gonna go psycho again..."

Hazel had been intently listening the whole time, writing what Eren was saying on a notepad. "Could you explain with more detail what these urges feel like?"

"Hum... well it's like when your horny and you really wanna jerk it but you're in public or something so you can't jerk it, so you're holding it in but you can't help but think of jerking it and that's making you even more horny, so you get so horny you wanna explode." Eren was past the point of making sense.

"That, surprisingly, makes sense. Good job, Eren, you should write a book." Hazel put down the notepad. "We're gonna need to do some tests on you. They might be harsh on your emotions, though it would help us reach an understanding to what is going on. Do you consent?"

Eren had already gone through enough tests in his life, a few more couldn't hurt. "Yeah, that's fine."

Hazel grinned. "Perfect!" She took a deep breath, then screeched loud enough to make Eren cover his ears, "Balby get your tookus over here!" 

From one room over, there was a loud crash and a string of curses. A few seconds later, the door was opened so harshly it was almost torn off it's hinges. Hanji stood behind the stranger, staring with curious eyes.

"Balby, this is Eren, the big experiment! Eren, this is Balborath. He works here... mostly as a security guard, but whatever." Hazel introduced them with a wave of her hand. "Balby, bring Eren to Lab 408."

Balborath, from his spot in front of the door, huffed angrily. He obviously wasn't amused. 

The first thing Eren noticed about him was how overall attractive Balborath was. His hair looked like coal that was soft to the touch, both the sides shaved to leave a strip of fluffy hair in the middle. His facial features looked very adult and masculine, even though he was rather pale. What caught Eren off guard were his eyes. At first glance, they appeared to be red. On closer inspection, they were actually a brown colour that appeared rather red. But, the man was wearing a rather ugly frown.

"Are you coming or not?" Balborath asked with a small growl. 

Eren quickly sat up, knowing instantly that Balborath was not a force to be reckoned with. Balborath lead Eren through the white hallways, and the younger man felt a tingling sense of worry when Hanji stayed behind with Hazel. 

"Um..." Eren tried to ask the slightly taller man a question, but a single glare shut him up. They walked to the laboratory in silence. 

Upon entering, Eren found it to be much different than what he was used to. It was clean; almost ridiculously clean, unlike the bloody (literally) military hospital. The tools looked brand new, and not like medieval torture devices. And, in the center of the room, staring at a beaker of some odd fluid, was a little ray of sunshine.

He was short, Eren noticed. Very short. Historia short. He looked almost like Armin, except his hair didn't shape into an adorable bowl. His light hair seemed messy, like someone was constantly running their hands through it. His face was more grown-up than Armin's childish pudge.  Eren could have sworn he saw a halo over the small man.

"Ah, h-hello there." The man said, putting the beaker down on a counter top. The small man had a small voice, Eren almost having to strain to hear it. And it appeared that he had a stutter. "I-I'm Chaxdon. I-I'm a sc-scientist and d-doctor here. You can take a seat over there-" Chaxdon motioned towards a metal table off to the side of the room. "I'm a-almost done here."

Eren approached the table and hopped atop it, watching as Balborath approached Chaxdon with the most endearing face a man could wear. 

The two started a conversation as Chaxdon messed with the beaker of fluid. Eren caught a few words, such as 'baby' and 'luke' and 'up all night'. Eren didn't really want to know...

After a small moment, Chaxdon ushered the frightened Balby out of the room. Chaxdon approached Eren, carrying two containers and a needle with him.

"S-Sorry, I n-need some blood..." Chaxdon stuttered.

Eren held out his hand, watching without a change in expression as Chaxdon stole some of his blood. 

"A-And, um," Chaxdon handed Eren the containers. "Fill one with u-urine and the other with... uh..." Chaxdon's ears turned red. "S-Sperm. There's a bathroom over there."

Eren clambered off of the table and to the bathroom.

He wondered just what Armin was doing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bertholt and armin are the bestest of friends and u cant convince me otherwise.  
> it seems like whenever im writing this, bad things happen that cause me to loose my progress ugh.  
> I was thinking of putting Erwin in Hazel's place but then I decided against it... Should I change it?  
> Balborath belongs to my bestest love Michelle <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> over a hundred kudos heck yeah!! i feel proud. well not of this fic this fic is trash. This chapter is like second to last probably. Cuz I suddenly lost all inspiration to write this messed up bull shit. So uh, yeah, look forward to the last chapter....???  
> EDIT: you know what... this is it. this is the last chapter. sorry. I've been kinda depressed lately, and I don't have the energy to work on this fic. Plus, i don't think working on this fic would help my mental state any, lmao. So. This is the end. Kinda abrupt, but whatever. It's an open book. Think whatever you want with this ending. Hell, continue it as your own. I don't care. it was fun to write, though uvu thank you all for your support through this trash <3  
> im gonna be working on other fics that aren't... like this, if you get my drift. I kinda wanna do an alpha/beta/omega story, mostly because I just want to explain it. lol. i'm still thinking on what the plot would be... maybe it could be a sequel type story to this?  
> uh.... yeah... maybe look forward to my other works? maybe?

_It’s beautiful._

That was the first thought that crossed Armin’s mind when he first approached the laboratories. He immediately wanted to abandon the current mission of entering the building to explore the outer building. The flowers were just so beautiful and so diverse! Armin wished he had brought his flower scrapbook. He needed to learn all about these flowers- their rarity, niche, toxicity, and all that cool stuff! But, alas, Levi could probably tell what he was thinking and dragged him past the garden. Armin knew he would have to return one day.

“Hanji is waiting insid-” Levi started, but he was interrupted.

“Levi! Armin! Over here!” The excitable woman had poked her head out from a window of the building and was frantically waving an arm. Someone dragged her back inside the building.

“She seems excited.” Armin commented softly. He hobbled into the building, his backside and wounded leg absolutely aching from all the walking he had done that day.

Levi had been holding onto him, like a kind man leading an old lady across the street. Armin wasn’t an old lady! He wanted to walk and run freely again. Armin forced himself to stop thinking those selfish things. Everyone was doing their best to help him, so he needed to be a nice patient.

The inside of the building didn’t catch Armin off guard. Something like this was to be expected out of the laboratories of Yylende.

Levi seemed to know exactly where he was going; swiftly leading Armin through white hallways until he stopped in front of a solid door. Without knocking, he entered. Armin swore there were two Hanji’s inside the room.

“Hello, my dear Armin!” Said the second, unfamiliar Hanji. “My name is Hazel and I will be your, ah… psychiatrist! Pleasure to meet your acquaintance!”

Armin cast a pleading look to Levi.

“She is going to help your brain, and she says hello.” Levi said coolly.

“Huh? What was that?” Hazel leaned over her desk, curious as to what Levi said to her new patient.

“Levi… It hurts… Can I sit down?” Armin said softly, blinking his eyes like a weary child. It seemed that Armin still hadn’t recovered his maturity from beforehand.

Levi nodded and brought Armin over to a comfortable chair, muttering in his ear, “You need to tell Hazel what happened that day and what you’re feeling.”

Armin stared up at Levi, refusing to look at the stranger. “N-No, I don’t wanna… I don’t wanna think of that day… I d-don’t w-wanna…!” Armin sniffled, his eyes welling up with tears.

Levi, still speaking unobtrusively, almost as if he were embarrassed if the other two heard him, said tenderly, “It’s okay, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. Just tell her what you’re feeling.”

Armin turned away from Levi, finally facing Hazel. But, he didn’t look at her. He glowered at his feet, his copious brows bunched together. He was holding onto Levi’s pant leg tightly, anxious the other would leave. So he spoke,

 “Um… I feel not the same as before. My mind feels really fuzzy sometimes, like there’s a blanket thrown on it. I get confused lots, and I don’t understand big words. And I forget things a lot, like who people are- Sometimes I forget who I am…” A heavy lament escaped parted lips.

“Ah, thank you Armin. You seem tired, yeah? Are you tired?” Hazel inquired, tilting her head slightly.

Armin nodded, looking up to Levi almost as if searching for approval.

“Then, Levi you can take him to the room that’s been prepared. You know where it is, right?” Levi nodded, so Hazel continued. “Return to here once you’re done! There are things we must discuss!”

Armin and Levi arose and escaped the room, the crutched man hobbling ever so slowly. Armin knew that before the… event… he would’ve refused to let a discussion happen, chiefly about him, without his presence. Armin found himself not caring that much now.

The duo walked in silence. Armin was worried, his stomach was twisting and tying in uncomfortable knots. Eren was here, he knew that. He wondered, just what was happening to him right now. Did Eren go through the same thing was Armin? Did they just ask him to say what he was feeling and then sent him off to a room? Armin didn’t want to see Eren. He didn’t want to be here. Maybe, if he could leave and buy his own cottage like Bertholt and Reiner, he could finally be happy. Maybe Levi would be willing live with him. Yes, that would make Armin very happy.

Of course, the world didn’t care about what would make Armin happy. Levi brought Armin to a small room that was almost a replica to Hazel’s office, but instead of a desk and chairs there was a bed and a wardrobe. Levi helped Armin undress and change into nightwear, which was provided in the wardrobe. Armin didn’t like the nightwear. It smelt like nothing… like cleanliness. His personal night clothes smelt of the trees and outdoors, it smelt of his hardships, it smelt of home.

When Armin was safe and cozy in bed, his crutch leaning against the wall, Levi left. Armin was alone once more. More and more, Armin found himself hating being alone. He wanted the heat of someone else beside him, someone to cling too to ward away any night terrors.

Armin was a dreamer. He knew that.

For several days, it was the same old routine.

Wake-up, eat, laze around, eat, look at the garden, eat, speak to Hazel, sleep, repeat.

It was tiresome, Armin desperately wanted a change. All of the books the shelves of Armin’s room held were perplexing and wordy, much too difficult for the recovering man. Armin had explored half of the garden, and the time spent in the garden was the best out of his day.

Armin hadn’t seen Eren once.

Levi seemed tense and Hanji was quieter than her usual self. It made Armin worry. More and more Armin saw his two seniors less in his day. The sweltering hole of loneliness was growing in Armin’s chest. He had heard that Bertholt and Reiner had been in the labs, but for whatever reason they weren’t allowed to visit Armin. It felt as if Hazel /wanted/ Armin to die of boredom and loneliness.

At the end of his first week, he couldn’t persuade himself to get up for breakfast. He stayed in bed till lunch, and when he finally got up he was groggy and sore, his muscles demurring every move he made. The garden lost some of its magic that day.

He felt hollow inside as he continued on with the day. He didn’t feel correct inside, like everything that was solely _Armin Arlert_ had been replaced. Since he had more time by himself, he had more time with his thoughts. His thoughts weren’t good. He began to think, really think, for the first time since the incident. He was dirty. That was the only word he could think of to explain what he felt. Dirty, he was so dirty. The beast had touched him in ways he had hoped only one special someone could. Armin’s body was dirty, but also was his mind. He was corrupted.

His symptoms of sadness only got worse as the days went on. On the fifteenth day, Armin didn’t see Levi at all. Hazel had told Armin that he didn’t need to speak to her if he didn’t want to, so Armin didn’t.

Armin was lonely.

* * *

 

The tests were almost constant. After Eren gave a sample of urine and semen on the first day, he was sent into a bedroom. He saw the cameras placed in every corner instantly- there would be no blind spots. The next day, they needed a tissue sample. The pain was excruciating. They cut deep into Eren’s thigh, cutting and taking something from him. He screamed and cried, humiliating his pride alongside the other agonising events. One of the tests were to basically insult him to see what he would do. He was angry, of course! But, besides him cussing and lobbing his fists, nothing happened. The tests were pointless.  These scientists wouldn’t figure anything out!

Levi and Hanji were almost always watching, for reasons unknown to Eren. To quench their own curiosity? They spoke to the scientists quietly, and no one ever informed Eren of anything. That pissed him off to no end. He had no idea what was happening with all the information about him. What was happening to Armin?

Oh, Eren wanted to see Armin dreadfully. No, he _needed_ to see him. He needed to gently coax Armin into trusting him again, he needed to apologize over and over until Armin even remotely believed that Eren was truly, painfully sorry. He wanted to hold Armin’s hand, just like when they were children. He wanted to speak of the ocean in whispery voices, he wanted to be the one to take Armin to actually _see_ the ocean. Most of all, he wanted to hold Armin. There were several nights Eren cried as he wished upon everything he believed in for those wishes to come true.

The seventeenth day, Eren was brought into a dark room. It wasn’t just a dark room, no, there was a glass window that allowed viewing into another room. In that room was Armin. He looked so different. There were dark circles under his eyes. He seemed undernourished; his face had lost the babyish squish. His baby blues looked hollow, empty. Depressed.

“Armin!” Eren gasped, rushing forward to press himself against the glass, but he was held back by a guard, Balborath.

“Sit down.” Was all the man said.

Eren, having no other choice, complied. The wooden chair in the center of the room was uncomfortable on his backside, but he would live. He opened his mouth to speak to Armin.

“Shut it, cupcake. Princess over there can’t hear you. He can’t see you, either. This is a one way mirror. In his room, all he sees is his reflection. He doesn’t know we’re here.” Balborath leaned against the closed door.

Eren peered at the dark-haired man, wondering what this was all about. Before he could voice his question, the man spoke up as if he had read his mind.

“We thought it would be good for you to see him again. He’s been feelin’ kinda lonely, according to Hazel, but he still can’t see you. We don’t know what would happen.”

Eren, though it wasn’t satisfying, understood where the scientists were coming from. They were doing all this for Armin, after all.

“Isn’t he pretty, though?” Balborath said softly from behind Eren. Eren visibly stiffened. “He looks so soft, delicate. Like a bunny, don’t you agree? A bunny you want all for yourself- to claim.”

Eren looked over his shoulder, glaring at Balborath. “What are you saying?” He growled through clenched teeth.

“Oh, come on!” The guard exclaimed loudly, pushing off of the wall and trotting up to the chair Eren seated himself in. “I know what you want to do to him. You want to hold him… and break him. You want to destroy him. It’s so obvious. You wanna dirty him!”

Eren shook his head wildly, pressing the heel of his palms into his eyes.

“Just think about it… Didn’t you feel such power when you dirtied him the first time?” Balborath pestered him.

“Shut up!” Eren wailed. He knew what was happening, and he refused to let it get to him! He wouldn’t, he _couldn't_ , hurt Armin ever again!

But Balborath kept egging him on. Eren couldn’t stop thinking of how it felt to destroy Armin. It was sickening, he was going to throw up. It felt so good. He wanted more of it. He wanted to destroy Armin more. He wanted to-

With an abrupt scream, Eren shifted. Seven feet tall, just like the last time. Grotesque bloodlust, just like the last time. Eren screamed loudly and threw his body against the mirror, shattering it instantly. Eren stared down at his prey. Armin stared right back.

* * *

 

Armin was frozen in fear. He was going to cry- this couldn’t happen again! But he wasn’t crying. He wasn’t doing anything. He was just staring at the titan, who stared right back down at him.

This was it.

He was going to die.

The titan made to move towards him, and Armin’s brain finally reacted with his muscles. He stumbled out of the chair and crawled backwards on the floor, till his back was pressed flush against the wall.

The titan didn’t like that. He growled, deep and guttural, and moved towards Armin. Swiftly, one hand around his torso, Armin was raised into the air. A sob wracked through his trembling body, but Armin made no other move. He couldn’t move.

Armin was going to die. He was going to die alone and depressed. Yes, Armin was depressed. He had accepted that fact days prior. He was very depressed, and very lonely, and it hurt. Everything about him ached. Maybe it would be okay for him to die. Maybe he was supposed to die earlier in his life, and this was Mother Nature getting back at Armin. Armin, the survivor. Armin wasn’t much of a survivor anymore.

With the final succumbing to his fate, Armin fell limp in the titan’s- Eren’s- grasp.

It was okay.

It was fine.


End file.
